My Misconceptions

Song of the Moment: "What Can I Say" by Carrie Underwood(feat. Sons of Sylvia)

Mood: groggy

"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
-Marilyn Monroe

My misconceptions include:

• thinking my marriage to my "high school sweetheart" would last forever.
• that my husband would NEVER cheat on me.
• that I actually have friends.
• that I'm as strong as everyone else thinks I am.

Here it is-- 2010 in all its glory. What have I done so far on my new year's resolution list? Well as far as Number 1 (File For Divorce) goes... I think I'm in the beginning stages. The vow of silence between Bill and I was broken last week. After doing my best not to call him for two months-- I had to call him about the house payment last Thursday. We only spoke briefly, but he did tell me that he was going to see a lawyer this week. And he said he'd pay all the fees. So there's a good sign. I really wanted to be the one to do it, but if he's already offered to pay for it and has it in the works, so be it. I also told him I was taking everything(because this was all his idea)... and he actually said "ok". We also talked about the fact that NO ONE has looked at our house. It's been on the market for 2 months-- really? That's not ok. We talked about getting a new real estate agent. So we shall see.

Anywho-- I rang in the New Year in Knoxville at a party chock full of gay boys and single straight girls! Of the 3 straight guys at the party-- one was single. Now don't get me wrong-- I'm not looking for anyone new. I'm really not even sure I'm ready to date plus I'd like to get divorced before I start even thinking about dating. I'm already certain I'm going to be terrible at it anyway. I've never had to do it before... both my relationships(that's right, I married only the second guy I dated) kind of fell into my lap.

So let's talk about dating. First-- I don't think I could ever be one of those girls who sleeps around. I'm a one-man kind of woman. Second-- Where am I going to meet these potential mates anyway? I work the vampire(overnight) shift. And then I sleep all day. I barely go out on the weekends... but even so, do I want to date a guy I met at a BAR? I don't think so. Dating just seems out of reach for me... and I don't really know when I'll feel confident enough to even try.

Okay-- back to New Year's Resolutions. Number 2(Exercise) is off to a rough start as well. I did run about a mile on the treadmill at work today, so that's a start. I just have got to stick to it. When I finally do get my own place-- I guess I'll join a gym. I'd like to take some classes like Pilates or Zumba. Maybe I could actually meet some people.

Next up-- Number 3(find a hobby). I'm just not sure which one to choose. But I know I really need to do something to find myself. I need to get a life. I'm tired of doing NOTHING. Anyone have any thoughts or ideas?



P.S. Sorry I've already been slacking on updating this and I just started. I promise to be better. I just haven't had anything new to report. My life is that sad.

♥ tiffany renee